Yesterday I met two British women, one of which was in Peru traveling, and the other visiting family. The former sat down next to me in a panicked hurry, trying to escape from a small, old Peruvian man who was following her. The man saw her sit down, pretended to look at the cakes, and - thankfully - he then promptly made his exit. She and I then got to talking, and two minutes quickly turned to two hours. Her friend met up with us later and they were both quite curious about my work in Peru, asking me question after question...
[Some background: I have worked in an emergency call center, in humanitarian assistance, in police dispatching (911 call operator), and I've been here working at the prison for about six weeks. I am no stranger to tragic stories of injustice, violence, or poverty. Before I came down here, some expressed concern for my emotional health were I to work in a prison with devastatingly poor and downtrodden women, but I was not and am not really concerned about being affected by this. I've found that with time and a thick stomach, these things cease to internalize so much and - for better or for worse - each becomes "just another story".]
Anyhow, at some point the conversation turns to why the women are in the prison, who they are, how they behave, etc. I reply that they are mostly in for drug trafficking, and I follow with several stories:
"One woman is in because a stranger broke into her house and raped her, and she stabbed him - resulting in his death. Of course now she is in for murder, and has no representation, no money, and does not even speak Spanish. She speaks only Quechua, and no one foresees her getting justice.
Another lived in the jungle, and believed she was being paid to make flour - though she was actually processing cocaine. And presumably being paid the price for flour. Who knows how long she'll be there.
One had separated from her husband, who was still driving her vehicle. He got pulled over with drugs in the car, and since it was registered in her name - she got nailed. It's her second time there, after the first time she had vowed never to get involved with the smuggling of drugs again. Now she is paying for her husband's mistake, and will be for ten more years.
There are dozens of stories like these, each more awful than the next. Clearly the problem is that Peru is treating cancer with band-aids - these extremely poor people, often with little or no exposure to anything outside their small village - are desperate and agree to smuggle drugs for very little pay, often getting caught their first time doing it, and always taking the fall for the real criminals. Not to excuse what the women are doing entirely, these are still crimes of course, but this is certainly not the ideal punishment for them. And maintaining these overcrowded prisons full of the very poor who are frequently unable to advocate for themselves is an extremely expensive way to ineffectively fight drug cartels."
I get off my soapbox and look around, and both of my new British friends are crying listening to my story! And I think to myself: "Is it normal to not be upset by this?" You see, as much nastiness as I've seen, I have never told a story and gotten that reaction. I later called my cousin who works for Child Welfare Services, a similar line of work in many ways. We collectively figured out that through years of working with them, we had so distanced ourselves from our "clients" that we had become part of a cadre of people over-exposed and largely numb to tragedy. Sometimes it takes someone else looking at you in horror for you to realize the reality you live in, I guess.
We decided to look at it optimistically - numbing yourself is a coping mechanism that allows you to
do your job effectively, objectively and professionally without getting
too personally involved. However, there is quite a fine balance between showing too much compassion and
being heartless, and that's what I, Robin, and all people in our shoes struggle with every day. We, and those who surround us, just have to remember that ultimately we are doing this in order to make good change happen - and we need all the support we can get.
